An interesting question was posed to me: How do I consciously create the life I desire and shift my identity to…
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So many people hate on manifestation.
The other day, someone left this comment on one of my posts: ”Damn, all those 80-hour work weeks when all I had to do is ask the universe in the correct way. At least I know now.”
Pretty funny, right?
I get it though. The whole idea of manifestation and co-creating with the Universe comes off a bit woo-woo like you’re slinging magic. It’s understandable why there are so many non-believers out there.
But it goes deeper than that.
In the age of TikTok, where more and more “spiritual content creators” are coming out of the woodwork filming in their moms’ basement, there’s a ton of misguided beliefs circulating the internet. These myths often oversimplify the complexities of how our thoughts, emotions, and energies truly work to shape our realities.
The biggest offenders include the following beliefs:
These myths are not only incorrect but emphasize the need to move beyond a superficial understanding of manifestation and embrace a more nuanced, empowered, and holistic approach. In doing so, you can tap into your own true power to transform your reality in ways that might surprise even the biggest doubter.
Let’s break them down.
This is one of the biggest myths in the world of manifestation that frankly needs to go away. You’ve likely heard it hundreds of times, as it has become the unofficial slogan of manifesting and the Law of Attraction, thanks to the movie The Secret. The problem with this idea is that it perpetuates an even greater fallacy which says: You will always manifest what you think about the most, whether you like it or not. However, this oversimplifies the dynamic nature of our thoughts and undercuts a crucial element of the process: Feelings!
Thoughts are simply the mental content triggered by our senses, external experiences, and internal programming—not how we actually perceive reality. So, while our dominant thoughts do play a role in the manifestation process, it’s really the emotions created by our thoughts that shape our reality. Your external experience will always be a direct reflection of the energy you are holding in your body, more so than the specifics of the thoughts rattling around in your head.
“Think” about it. We are complex beings, experiencing around 60,000 thoughts per day, but not every fleeting one manifests into reality. If it did, that would result in global anarchy.
So, rather than “thoughts become things,” it’s more precise to say that repeated thoughts create repeated emotions, and this interplay of thinking and feeling becomes your default state of being, which ultimately creates your reality.
It’s not the big house, the specific dollar amount in your bank account, or the goal on the vision board. It’s the feeling that drops down in your heart space when you think of those things.
Another big misconception that drives me nuts is the belief that having negative thoughts or feelings will automatically derail your manifestation efforts and put you back to zero. This is 1000% untrue! Negative thoughts and emotions aren’t big, bad bullies lurking around the corner looking to knock down your confidence and strip you of your dignity. Nor do the forces within the Universe punish you for experiencing them.
In fact, we exist in the 3D land of duality where experiencing a mix of positive and negative thoughts is part of the human condition. We also exist in the land of impermanence, where everything we encounter is temporary, with all energies, mental, physiological, and emotional, traveling in and out of our experience like clouds passing through the sky.
It would be impossible for you to not feel negative emotions; maybe if you’re some enlightened guru.
Another issue with this myth is that it encourages spiritual bypassing where one uses manifesting and the Law of Attraction to avoid or sidestep unresolved emotional issues. Manifesting, however, is not about bombarding our lives with positivity while avoiding or rejecting our wounds or any unpleasant emotions. It’s about owning and embracing them.
It’s like when I see someone wearing a t-shirt that says “good vibes only,” and can’t help to wonder what deep pain they must be burying. Don’t get me wrong, striving to maintain a positive outlook can help you navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs. However, if you are unwilling to do the inner work of addressing the shadowy side of your experience, you are going to have a hard time manifesting the life you want—regardless of how good your vibes are.
So I say, fuck good vibes only, it’s about all vibes.
Additionally, avoiding negative thoughts and feelings actually disempowers you—because when you disregard how you truly feel, you essentially relinquish control over your direct experience. You signal to your subconscious mind that this feeling is “just a part of who you are” and lies outside of your control. However, conscious manifestation is the exact opposite. It’s about taking back creative control of your thoughts and feelings.
Let’s say you’re trying to manifest financial abundance or career success but you’re going through a challenging separation from your partner, and your predominant thoughts are of fear and loss.
At any given moment, your negative spiral can become a chance for you to find forgiveness, compassion, and more mindful awareness of the wholeness of your experience. Then, you can consciously shift your focus to positive states like gratitude, joy, and love, and redirect your energy towards creating more favorable experiences.
When something distressing happens in your life, process the emotion you are having, and ask yourself two questions:
Seek and you shall find. Because the more gratitude you can find for your past and present, the more faith you will have to face the unknowns of your future.
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Download your FREE copy →Visualization and affirmations are often touted as essential parts of the manifesting playbook, but here’s the truth: They are not required to manifest what you want. And this is coming from someone who writes guided imagery meditations and recites positive affirmations.
I love them.
But if that’s not your thing, you never have to do visualizations or recite affirmations—because manifestation is not about what you visualize or speak out loud. Instead, it comes down to energy work.
Meaning, it’s about:
Visualization and affirmations are just two of the numerous methods and modalities to help you get into the right internal state to manifest in the outer world. Remember, it’s not about the content or imagery coming from your mind, it’s about your attitude and state of being! So, while visualization and affirmation are extremely powerful to help you generate the feelings that align with your desires, they serve merely as a springboard to elevated and higher states of being. The key is to choose whatever practices and tools that boost your mental and emotional state and resonate with your goals.
When you visualize, rather than solely focusing on the images in your mind, place more emphasis on creating the feeling that “something extraordinary is about to happen in my life.” Manifesting is about the art of “as if,” so use your visualization session to practice already embodying the emotions you will experience when your manifestation comes true.
A popular idea on manifesting is that you should never express what you don’t want, and only express what you do. While ideally, you should avoid negative affirmations, it’s more nuanced than that. Because again, it’s not the words or content themselves, but the energy and intention behind them that matter. A good way to gauge this is to ask yourself:
If you answered yes, you are likely will stay bonded to that negativity and create more of it in your external experience.
However, if you approach what you don’t want with a neutral (or even a positive) perspective, express it gracefully, and remain unattached to it as the words come out of your mouth, any negative energy you project will quickly leave your experience. Remember it’s not about avoiding negativity altogether. You can desire something not to happen, while still remaining unaffected and detached from whether it actually occurs. It’s almost like having an attitude of indifference, which sometimes can be a powerful attitude to manifest from.
I can’t tell you how many times there was a meeting or work project that I wasn’t looking forward to that somehow never came to fruition. in the days and weeks leading up to these events, I didn’t dread them or obsess over them. Instead, I simply preferred they wouldn’t happen, like a quiet wish I released to the Universe.
Another flaw in this idea of never affirming what you don’t want is that it disregards a crucial aspect of transformation: self-awareness. In other words, you can’t change your life in any meaningful way without understanding what you don’t want. You need to identify the qualities, behaviors, habits, and mindsets that no longer serve you and contribute to the negative experiences in your life. To do that, we need to take a stand and affirm that we no longer want to be this current version of ourselves.
A good example is the manifestation protocol Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches in Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself and in his meditations. One of the key steps involves openly declaring the person you no longer wish to be, the negative aspects of yourself you want to change, and the limited habitual emotional states you have internalized as your default state of being.
So, without recognizing and declaring what we don’t want to experience anymore, we remain out of touch, trapped in our limitations, and unable to channel our energy to create the space for real progress.
“Can you humbly and sincerely admit who you have been, what you have been hiding, and what you want to change about yourself, so that you eliminate unnecessary pain and suffering before you create the related experiences in your reality?
Dr. Joe Dispenza
…By declaring the truth about yourself out loud, you are breaking the emotional ties, agreements, dependencies, attachments, bonds, and addictions to all those external cues in your life.”
The next time you don’t want something to happen, upgrade this desire to merely a preference. Either way, you could take it or leave it.
For a long time, I used to buy into this. But then I stopped getting all my information on manifesting from watching YouTube and actually picked up a book.
The problem with this myth is that it suggests that every single thing that happens in your life is because you manifested it, whether consciously or unconsciously. This is almost as ridiculous as “thoughts become things.” Anyone who tells you this doesn’t understand the dynamic, and unpredictable nature of life.
First, while our mental and emotional energy is incredibly powerful in how we experience reality, they are not the sole determinants of every event in our lives. They are just one part of the equation. Life is a complex interplay of factors, including societal, cultural, and environmental influences, as well as our genetics and the beliefs programmed into our subconscious minds.
Secondly, while manifestation is indeed a powerful tool, it’s just one tool in the toolbox that we can use to empower ourselves to a better life. Relying solely on the principles of manifestation and the Law of Attraction is shortsighted. We need to embrace a more holistic approach toward our personal and spiritual development that accounts for all the forces at play within the broader canvas of life.
Interestingly, if we break apart manifestation, we actually will realize that it’s quite paradoxical. On one hand, it empowers us to consciously create our reality, while on the other, it also beckons us to surrender control of the steering wheel of our lives. So while we are co-creating with this life force, we are also at its mercy—and we must remember that life is ultimately a mystery and will always have the upper hand in this perpetual tug of war.
Bottom line: You don’t attract everything that comes into your life.
Instead of trying to improve your life by adding to it, why not begin by considering what you can take away? What can you release? What once served you that no longer does? What ideas or beliefs do you need to let go of? What aspects of your life don’t align with the person you want to be? All transformation manifests by letting go, not gaining or accumulating.
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