What an Old Man in a Café Helped Me Realize About Identity Shifting

It was my first day working on my new course on identity shifting.

I was sitting in a small corner café — laptop open, half staring at a blank doc, half eavesdropping on conversations around me.

I had no idea where to begin.

I kept thinking:

• How do I explain identity shifting in a way that actually lands?
• Do most people even know what that term means?
• Will some people be turned off by the idea of “shifting your identity?”

And then the old man walked in.

Black coffee. Corn muffin. Today’s newspaper folded under one arm. He moved slowly, but with purpose. The kind of presence that doesn’t need to prove anything.

He took the table next to mine.

The server greeted him by name. He cracked jokes. Asked friendly questions. You could feel his aliveness. His curiosity. His quiet confidence.

That’s when I thought to myself:

If this man turned to me and asked what I’m working on, how would I explain identity shifting to him? Right here, right now, what would I say?

And just like that, creating my course became a whole lot easier.

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My Conversation With the Old Man

We live in a time when manifestation has gone mainstream.

We’re told to “raise our vibration,” “eliminate negativity,” and “focus on what we want.” We’re told that if we just think the right thoughts, work hard enough, and visualize ourselves clearly reaching success, life will reward us — that the forces of the universe, somehow, will deliver what we desire.

But most people who follow that path end up frustrated, confused, or quietly burnt out.

Why?

Because they’re focused on trying to get something, without becoming the version of themselves who would naturally have it.

That’s the flaw in modern manifestation: it emphasizes desire but overlooks identity.

And that’s the key most people miss.

Your brain doesn’t act on what you want.
It acts on what’s familiar.

We’re creatures of habit. And unless we change the patterns wired into our nervous system — our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors — we’ll keep recreating the same results, no matter how much we “want” something different.

Because the outcomes you get in life aren’t based on what you think, they’re based on what you embody. And what you embody is determined by your energy — your emotional baseline, your self-concept, your beliefs, and your identity.

So I turned to the man beside me, taking a slow sip of his coffee, and I said:

You’ve probably heard of manifestation or the Law of Attraction. People talk about these ideas like they’re magic. But it’s really just mechanics.

Your identity is like software.

It runs in the background and shapes how you think, feel, and respond — every day.

So if you want to create something new in your life — a better career, a healthier relationship, a sense of peace — you need to update the internal program by shifting some part of who you are that’s currently out of alignment with that new reality.

Because the reality you’re living now is perfectly matched to your current self. And that means your current self is programmed for your current results.

Then I paused, took a sip of my coffee, and continued:

But let’s be clear…

Shifting your identity is not about judging yourself or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about seeing yourself as an energetic being who can evolve — someone who can let go of outdated patterns and install new ways of being that align with the life you want. It’s about becoming conscious of the stories and beliefs you’ve been running on autopilot, and choosing a new narrative that matches the life you want to create.

So while it’s called “identity shifting,” we’re really just clearing away the false stories and outdated programming to reveal what’s already within us. And when you repeatedly familiarize your brain and body with a new way of thinking and being, you begin to reprogram what feels natural.

And over time, you don’t just want a different life.

You start to live like someone who already has it.

That’s what identity shifting is.

It’s the practice of becoming the version of you who already lives the life you desire.

Not because you’re forcing it.

But because you’re returning to who you already are, beneath all the programming and self-doubt.

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Ready to live from the most powerful version of you?

My 10-lesson course, The Identity Shifting Morning Practice, guides you through a daily embodiment system to help you rewire your subconscious, regulate your nervous system, and start each day as the person you know you’re meant to be.

Join Now →

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The Man in the Café Check-In

Here’s a simple way to put all of this into practice — what I now call the “Man in the Café Check-In.”

The next time you feel stuck, overthinking a goal, chasing after something, or trying to translate what’s in your head into something that feels true in your heart.

Pause.

Imagine sitting across from someone who doesn’t care about spiritual jargon or trendy buzzwords. Someone curious, kind, and no-nonsense.

Then ask yourself: “If I had to explain who I’m becoming, right now, in one simple sentence, what would I say?”

Now breathe into your heart.

And feel the energy of that version of you.

Let it move through your body. Let it guide your next word, your next decision, your next step.

Then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after it.

Until one day, you catch your reflection and realize — you’re no longer trying to become that version of you.

You’re simply living as them.

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The Voice We All Need to Hear

As real as it felt, I never actually spoke to the old man in the café.

But in imagining how I’d explain identity shifting to him, something important happened.

For one, I ended up explaining it to myself.

More importantly, I stopped trying to sound profound and started speaking from the truth.

And that’s when I realized:

The “man in the café” isn’t just some guy. He’s a stand-in for the part of you that’s curious. Grounded. Ready.

The part of you who wants to understand who you really are — not in theory, but in practice — and how to uncover and unleash the version of you that you were always meant to be.

So now, whenever I feel unclear or disconnected from my path — or whenever I catch myself overcomplicating my message, I return to that table. That corn muffin. That moment.

And I ask:

What would the man in the café need to hear to remember who he really is?

Because maybe… that’s the voice we all need to hear.

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The Art of Identity Shifting

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